Post by LATAGAW on Aug 27, 2005 12:58:11 GMT 8
[glow=red,2,300]Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let's face it; English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as
it burns down and in which you fill in a form by filling it out.
That is why when the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible, and why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts, but when I wind up this observation, it ends.
And that reminds me:
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
And the final thoughts of the day ........
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
Who's bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?
Mr. Bigger's baby because he is a little bigger! Razz[/glow]
Let's face it; English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as
it burns down and in which you fill in a form by filling it out.
That is why when the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible, and why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts, but when I wind up this observation, it ends.
And that reminds me:
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
And the final thoughts of the day ........
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
Who's bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?
Mr. Bigger's baby because he is a little bigger! Razz[/glow]